[BE]: Update cudnn frontend submodule to 1.14.1 (#162347)

Fixes a few bugs introduced to CUDNN 1.11 which affects all our CUDA13 builds. Also adds support for new CUDNN features whenever we choose to update. @eqy pretty sure this addresses the concern you had over the previous upgrade since that bugfix is now merged. This is a simple header only update.
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/162347
Approved by: https://github.com/eqy, https://github.com/atalman

aten/src/ATen/native/cudnn/MHA.cpp

@@ -482,7 +482,7 @@ auto build_graph(
   auto scaled_dot_product_flash_attention_options =
       fe::graph::SDPA_attributes()
           .set_name("CUDNN_SDPA")
-          .set_is_inference(return_softmaxstats == false)
+          .set_generate_stats(return_softmaxstats)
           .set_causal_mask(is_causal)
           .set_attn_scale(attn_scale);
   if (use_ragged_in_dense(q, k, v, o, attn_bias.has_value())) {
@@ -702,7 +702,7 @@ auto build_graph_nestedtensor(
   auto scaled_dot_product_flash_attention_options =
       fe::graph::SDPA_attributes()
           .set_name("CUDNN_SDPA_NESTEDTENSOR")
-          .set_is_inference(return_softmaxstats == false)
+          .set_generate_stats(return_softmaxstats)
           .set_causal_mask(is_causal)
           .set_attn_scale(attn_scale)
           .set_seq_len_q(SEQ_LEN_Q_)